I've stated briefly in my previous post what is like living in Yemen that the Yemenis are hospitable people. In this post I'm going to talk great length about it and also my experience with them.
As an Indonesian, born and raised in Indonesia, we have always taught that we are very kind and hospitable. When someone in trouble we're going to help, it's okay to talk with stranger, always say the three magic words, friendly with our neighbors and so on. I know and believe that we are kind people, but comparing to Yemeni I'll say that we still have a long way to go.
Below I list the trait of Yemenis as I have observed and have day to day interaction with them. There are some differences between the Yemenis who live in the north and the ones that live in the south. I will also list some of the annoyances too.
Good traits:
1. HUMBLE
I think I should put this on top of the list even though my list isn't intended to rate which one is better. It just that the Yemenis humbleness are so noticeable, and they are not faking it at all.
For instance the first months I'm in Sana'a, I was so surprised to see men with suit and ties that came out from an office building, went to the restaurant across the road at the lunch times while at the same time the restaurants also serve food to the road workers and other blue collars.
While I was working in bank in Indonesia, never I see my bosses are eating at the affordable restaurants in the basement of the office building for lunch. They usually went to malls, or fancier restaurants to eat. The higher their level, the fancier the restaurants.
Not only eating at the same restaurants, the Yemenis will also talk with each other no matter how high their positions in the office or in the society. I haven't seen any invisible walls around them. Their position and wealth doesn't make them feel better from the lesser, in fact the Yemenis are fully aware the danger of feeling better from other people because they know everything that happened to them not because their own efforts but by the God's will, and God might take everything in an instant.
It's common to see their houses big or small, or their cars luxurious or cheap, with a sticker "Mashaallah, tabarakallah" meaning "God has willed, blessed is Allah" or with sticker "Hadza min fadhli rabbi" meaning "This is from the grace of my Lord". It's really serves a reminder that all things are from God alone.
When I was in Maarib, there was this middle age guy that often eat with us at Ramadan (the food was provided by the mosque). After a while I asked him his background because I'd seen him driving a tractor. I thought he was a worker because he always unkempt and his clothes always dirty. It turns out he had three small apartment buildings of three stories, a huge farm land, and a tractor, and he just loves farming and that make him happy. He also said, "All of them are from the grace of my Lord".
So the good thing about living in Yemen is the people. You won't find arrogant people, or the one who brags his achievements, or the one that look down of other people because of their status, or the one that have to buy expensive things just to be accepted in society. You will not be pressed by expectations like that of in materialistic society at all.
2. MODEST
I know in some society that promotes vanity, it's really hard to meet people expectations. Sometimes you'll be stared and mocked just because you attires are not matching, or belittled just because you bag is not from a famous designer, or your wrist watch is from cheap market. I've not seen like that here in Yemen.
The Yemenis buy clothes because they want to put some clothes in their bodies not as a status or wealth. The Yemenis buy cellphone because they want to call someone anytime anywhere, or to play games, or to capture images, not because the want to show that they're rich by having the latest iPhone. They buy watch to know the time, not to show that they can afford to buy an Officine Panerai.
It's common to see Yemenis with very modest clothes turns out to be a very rich person or successful.
One time I was walking in Seiyun City, then suddenly came an unkempt old man wearing a worn-out army attire covered by gray sweater and carrying AK-47 greeted me in and walked with me. He started the conversations in English, really fast, correct and better than I am. Never I talked English with Yemeni in this level of fluency before.
I asked him what he do, he said he just an army retiree and positioned in small post nearby where we walked, but he sometimes was required to teach battle tactics to the new recruits. He was trained in his youth eight years in USA and three years in Russia, he was an operator for rocket artillery, and his wife was Russian. Wow! At first glance you might seen him as a beggar if not for his AK-47.
3. VERY FRIENDLY
You will often be greeted in the street, and then you'll be asked to join them in breakfast or lunch or dinner depending what time you meet them, or for just a cup of tea.
The first few days I was in Sana'a (at 2013 before the war), me and two of my friends were walking down the street in the morning. We saw in the pedestrian road, three or four people were crouching and eating bread with fasulia (bean stew), blocking our way. When they saw us, they immediately asked us to join even pulling our hands. So we joined, ate and took photos together (will update the photo later).
I can't count how many times since 2013 to now 2017 I've been invited by strangers just met at the moment to join with them in their meals or invited to their house for a cup of tea. If you're introverted person like me, it might be overwhelming at first but then again it might cure the introverted-ness.
Don't talk to strangers don't apply here, because the Yemenis just love to talk to strangers. In the street, in the bus, in the market, in the mosque. I've seen few times a political argument in a bus that being participated by almost all people in the bus including the driver! If you talk loud enough in a bus, just prepared that someone will join in your conversation.
Anyway this trait is not too noticeable for the southern Yemenis. They are more shy to start conversation with stranger, also more calm, but they'll answer if asked and then have a long and warm conversation. Also sometimes they dislike the northerners because by being so loud.
So if you're in Yemen, start conversation with the local anytime anywhere, you'll make friends immediately.
4. EAGER TO HELP
Sometimes when I asked for direction, the people here would walk me to the place that I intended.
Sometimes if I asked for direction to one person, a second person who hear would join to give insight and then the third person who was just passing by and looking at our conversation would also join and give insight, then three of them would argue which way is the best way.
Hitchhiking is also common here, when I was in Maarib and living in a small village 10 kilometers from the province road, I usually hitchhiked every time I wanted to go into town and back.
I know one Yemeni student here in Mukalla that is so poor, he has to hitchhike every morning to go to his university and back (the university is free of tuition fee by the way, like many universities here) because he can't afford two hundred riyal Yemen everyday for bus.
One of my sheikh once said that if you don't have money at all, you can still travel from the eastern most to the western most of Yemen by hitchhiking.
Another example of eager to help, when a person is building a house then his neighbor will highly probably come and help him.
I once hiring someone to install an air conditioner for me, afterward he refused to be paid. It's almost like a wrestling competition to put the money into his pocket.
And as simple as if you are thirsty and looking at someone drinks, ask him and he will give you his drinks. Or are you hungry? Ask someone his food, and he will give it to you. Just ask them anything, if they can help you they will.
5. QUICK TO FORGIVE AND ASK FOR FORGIVENESS
How quick is it? We Indonesian students once sit down and eat breakfast in one plate (yes, five or six people in one plate, problems?) at the school ground in Maarib, and we saw two Yemeni teenagers were in heated arguments and almost got into a nasty fight. One had already whipped his belt into the air, and another one raised a big stone with his two hands.
Then I didn't know what was happening, suddenly when I looked back these two was already sitting together and eating at the same plate!
We Indonesians who witnessed the scene agreed that the Yemenis really have a big heart unsurpassed by anything that we have known before. It's impossible for us Indonesian to have almost got into a fight to look at each other eye for a month, let alone sitting together and talk in a minute and we thought we are hospitable and kind people.
You will see a lot of time, kid or teenagers fighting and tomorrow they'll walk together holding hands (yea holding hands!).
The Yemenis also quick to ask for forgiveness, if they wrong you or saying something bad that might hurt your feeling, they will come sooner or later and ask your forgiveness.
6. CONTENT and GRATEFUL
I've seen that a lot of Yemenis are so content with their life. They are not greedy nor pursue worldly materials. They are not driven to be the best of the best, or the richest. They just flow with the wind, do what they can and grateful to God with what they have.
That is why when you greet them, "How are you?" the answer would be "All praise due to Allah, I'm fine". "What is new?" the answer would be "All praise due to Allah, everything is fine".
I've only seen one person who was sad and showed on his face, so when his friend greeted him and said "How are you?" he answered "Laa ba'sa" meaning "No problem" and his friend touched his chest. Later I know that the guy had many problem, but he just didn't reveal it he only said "Laa ba'sa".
Of course there are bad apples too. Here in Mukalla I had a neighbor before I moved to another neighborhood, and this neighbor woman always complaining to my wife about their life. Always complaining about the materials, money and always borrowing money.
The annoyances:
DIRTY
I told you that Yemenis are modest right, but some of them are just downright dirty. I enrolled my wife to midwifery school here in Mukalla. The teacher said about personal cleanliness, and how nails should be cut down, only that most of the nurses and midwifes even the teachers have long nails and dirty inside. That the people who worked in the health industry.
We Indonesian used to live in tropical country. Living in tropical country meaning sweating a lot, and we usually take a bath twice a day. The Yemenis are rarely take a bath, especially in Sana'a, some of them are taking a bath once a week and change their clothes too once a week.
Also the environment here, from the western most to eastern most always littered with garbage. You will see plastic bags everywhere. Even in a beautiful desert place like Maarib, plastic bags and diapers everywhere. We sometimes mocking them by saying, "Al-ard mazbalah" or meaning "The earth is a garbage bin".
LAZY
Sometimes content and lazy draws a thin line. The laziness usually comes if they are chewing gat, when they are chewing gat they will just sit down, let the time past by, world means nothing to them.
I've talked to a vice president from one of the biggest bank in Sana'a. He was from Palestine that grew up in Jordan, migrated from his home country when the Israel was aggressively taking their land in the 60's. So he said that the Yemeni workers anxious to get home at 3:00 pm because the gat market usually opened at that time, so they ceased to work and going out to the gat market although the office hour ends at 5.
But not for the student of Islamic studies, never I've seen them lazy. Always in study or reading Al-Qur'an, until late night and wake up before dawn. If only all Yemenis like them.
BAD SERVICE and IMMUNE TO COMPLAIN
The customer is not a king here mind you. Sometimes if the servers having a bad mood, they might show it to you. They might angry at you, and you are the customers! So you might complain about that to their superiors right? Good luck with that, usually they don't care.
Or you might complain to anyone you see about what's happening in Yemen, such as traffic, bad services, or all that crappy goods from China the Yemenis consume and we bought and broken down a week later, expect they don't care about it or they just shrugged it of and say "Anta fil Yaman" meaning "You are in Yemen".
Yeah you are in Yemen, take it or leave it we don't care, profit still comes whether you are in or not. That basically it.
Conclusion:
There are still more good traits that I can list of and some annoyances too, but I don't want to make this post too long. In short, the Yemenis are great people! If I was asked how I find the Yemenis, I'll answer that I find them just like what the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him said:
"هُمْ أَضْعفُ قُلُوبًا و أَرَقَ أَفْئِدَةً الإيْمَانُ يَمَان وَ الحِكْمَةُ يَمَنِيَة" "They are most gentle and soft-hearted. Faith is Yemenite, wisdom is Yemenite."
I just hope the war will be over quick, because these people really deserve to be happy.
- Mukalla, Yemen -
As an Indonesian, born and raised in Indonesia, we have always taught that we are very kind and hospitable. When someone in trouble we're going to help, it's okay to talk with stranger, always say the three magic words, friendly with our neighbors and so on. I know and believe that we are kind people, but comparing to Yemeni I'll say that we still have a long way to go.
Below I list the trait of Yemenis as I have observed and have day to day interaction with them. There are some differences between the Yemenis who live in the north and the ones that live in the south. I will also list some of the annoyances too.
Good traits:
1. HUMBLE
I think I should put this on top of the list even though my list isn't intended to rate which one is better. It just that the Yemenis humbleness are so noticeable, and they are not faking it at all.
For instance the first months I'm in Sana'a, I was so surprised to see men with suit and ties that came out from an office building, went to the restaurant across the road at the lunch times while at the same time the restaurants also serve food to the road workers and other blue collars.
While I was working in bank in Indonesia, never I see my bosses are eating at the affordable restaurants in the basement of the office building for lunch. They usually went to malls, or fancier restaurants to eat. The higher their level, the fancier the restaurants.
Not only eating at the same restaurants, the Yemenis will also talk with each other no matter how high their positions in the office or in the society. I haven't seen any invisible walls around them. Their position and wealth doesn't make them feel better from the lesser, in fact the Yemenis are fully aware the danger of feeling better from other people because they know everything that happened to them not because their own efforts but by the God's will, and God might take everything in an instant.
It's common to see their houses big or small, or their cars luxurious or cheap, with a sticker "Mashaallah, tabarakallah" meaning "God has willed, blessed is Allah" or with sticker "Hadza min fadhli rabbi" meaning "This is from the grace of my Lord". It's really serves a reminder that all things are from God alone.
When I was in Maarib, there was this middle age guy that often eat with us at Ramadan (the food was provided by the mosque). After a while I asked him his background because I'd seen him driving a tractor. I thought he was a worker because he always unkempt and his clothes always dirty. It turns out he had three small apartment buildings of three stories, a huge farm land, and a tractor, and he just loves farming and that make him happy. He also said, "All of them are from the grace of my Lord".
So the good thing about living in Yemen is the people. You won't find arrogant people, or the one who brags his achievements, or the one that look down of other people because of their status, or the one that have to buy expensive things just to be accepted in society. You will not be pressed by expectations like that of in materialistic society at all.
2. MODEST
I know in some society that promotes vanity, it's really hard to meet people expectations. Sometimes you'll be stared and mocked just because you attires are not matching, or belittled just because you bag is not from a famous designer, or your wrist watch is from cheap market. I've not seen like that here in Yemen.
The Yemenis buy clothes because they want to put some clothes in their bodies not as a status or wealth. The Yemenis buy cellphone because they want to call someone anytime anywhere, or to play games, or to capture images, not because the want to show that they're rich by having the latest iPhone. They buy watch to know the time, not to show that they can afford to buy an Officine Panerai.
It's common to see Yemenis with very modest clothes turns out to be a very rich person or successful.
One time I was walking in Seiyun City, then suddenly came an unkempt old man wearing a worn-out army attire covered by gray sweater and carrying AK-47 greeted me in and walked with me. He started the conversations in English, really fast, correct and better than I am. Never I talked English with Yemeni in this level of fluency before.
I asked him what he do, he said he just an army retiree and positioned in small post nearby where we walked, but he sometimes was required to teach battle tactics to the new recruits. He was trained in his youth eight years in USA and three years in Russia, he was an operator for rocket artillery, and his wife was Russian. Wow! At first glance you might seen him as a beggar if not for his AK-47.
3. VERY FRIENDLY
You will often be greeted in the street, and then you'll be asked to join them in breakfast or lunch or dinner depending what time you meet them, or for just a cup of tea.
The first few days I was in Sana'a (at 2013 before the war), me and two of my friends were walking down the street in the morning. We saw in the pedestrian road, three or four people were crouching and eating bread with fasulia (bean stew), blocking our way. When they saw us, they immediately asked us to join even pulling our hands. So we joined, ate and took photos together (will update the photo later).
I can't count how many times since 2013 to now 2017 I've been invited by strangers just met at the moment to join with them in their meals or invited to their house for a cup of tea. If you're introverted person like me, it might be overwhelming at first but then again it might cure the introverted-ness.
Don't talk to strangers don't apply here, because the Yemenis just love to talk to strangers. In the street, in the bus, in the market, in the mosque. I've seen few times a political argument in a bus that being participated by almost all people in the bus including the driver! If you talk loud enough in a bus, just prepared that someone will join in your conversation.
Anyway this trait is not too noticeable for the southern Yemenis. They are more shy to start conversation with stranger, also more calm, but they'll answer if asked and then have a long and warm conversation. Also sometimes they dislike the northerners because by being so loud.
So if you're in Yemen, start conversation with the local anytime anywhere, you'll make friends immediately.
4. EAGER TO HELP
Sometimes when I asked for direction, the people here would walk me to the place that I intended.
Sometimes if I asked for direction to one person, a second person who hear would join to give insight and then the third person who was just passing by and looking at our conversation would also join and give insight, then three of them would argue which way is the best way.
Hitchhiking is also common here, when I was in Maarib and living in a small village 10 kilometers from the province road, I usually hitchhiked every time I wanted to go into town and back.
 |
| Photo: Everyday I'm hitchhikin' |
One of my sheikh once said that if you don't have money at all, you can still travel from the eastern most to the western most of Yemen by hitchhiking.
Another example of eager to help, when a person is building a house then his neighbor will highly probably come and help him.
I once hiring someone to install an air conditioner for me, afterward he refused to be paid. It's almost like a wrestling competition to put the money into his pocket.
And as simple as if you are thirsty and looking at someone drinks, ask him and he will give you his drinks. Or are you hungry? Ask someone his food, and he will give it to you. Just ask them anything, if they can help you they will.
5. QUICK TO FORGIVE AND ASK FOR FORGIVENESS
How quick is it? We Indonesian students once sit down and eat breakfast in one plate (yes, five or six people in one plate, problems?) at the school ground in Maarib, and we saw two Yemeni teenagers were in heated arguments and almost got into a nasty fight. One had already whipped his belt into the air, and another one raised a big stone with his two hands.
Then I didn't know what was happening, suddenly when I looked back these two was already sitting together and eating at the same plate!
We Indonesians who witnessed the scene agreed that the Yemenis really have a big heart unsurpassed by anything that we have known before. It's impossible for us Indonesian to have almost got into a fight to look at each other eye for a month, let alone sitting together and talk in a minute and we thought we are hospitable and kind people.
You will see a lot of time, kid or teenagers fighting and tomorrow they'll walk together holding hands (yea holding hands!).
The Yemenis also quick to ask for forgiveness, if they wrong you or saying something bad that might hurt your feeling, they will come sooner or later and ask your forgiveness.
6. CONTENT and GRATEFUL
I've seen that a lot of Yemenis are so content with their life. They are not greedy nor pursue worldly materials. They are not driven to be the best of the best, or the richest. They just flow with the wind, do what they can and grateful to God with what they have.
That is why when you greet them, "How are you?" the answer would be "All praise due to Allah, I'm fine". "What is new?" the answer would be "All praise due to Allah, everything is fine".
I've only seen one person who was sad and showed on his face, so when his friend greeted him and said "How are you?" he answered "Laa ba'sa" meaning "No problem" and his friend touched his chest. Later I know that the guy had many problem, but he just didn't reveal it he only said "Laa ba'sa".
Of course there are bad apples too. Here in Mukalla I had a neighbor before I moved to another neighborhood, and this neighbor woman always complaining to my wife about their life. Always complaining about the materials, money and always borrowing money.
The annoyances:
DIRTY
I told you that Yemenis are modest right, but some of them are just downright dirty. I enrolled my wife to midwifery school here in Mukalla. The teacher said about personal cleanliness, and how nails should be cut down, only that most of the nurses and midwifes even the teachers have long nails and dirty inside. That the people who worked in the health industry.
We Indonesian used to live in tropical country. Living in tropical country meaning sweating a lot, and we usually take a bath twice a day. The Yemenis are rarely take a bath, especially in Sana'a, some of them are taking a bath once a week and change their clothes too once a week.
Also the environment here, from the western most to eastern most always littered with garbage. You will see plastic bags everywhere. Even in a beautiful desert place like Maarib, plastic bags and diapers everywhere. We sometimes mocking them by saying, "Al-ard mazbalah" or meaning "The earth is a garbage bin".
 |
| Photo: Can you see garbage? |
Sometimes content and lazy draws a thin line. The laziness usually comes if they are chewing gat, when they are chewing gat they will just sit down, let the time past by, world means nothing to them.
I've talked to a vice president from one of the biggest bank in Sana'a. He was from Palestine that grew up in Jordan, migrated from his home country when the Israel was aggressively taking their land in the 60's. So he said that the Yemeni workers anxious to get home at 3:00 pm because the gat market usually opened at that time, so they ceased to work and going out to the gat market although the office hour ends at 5.
But not for the student of Islamic studies, never I've seen them lazy. Always in study or reading Al-Qur'an, until late night and wake up before dawn. If only all Yemenis like them.
BAD SERVICE and IMMUNE TO COMPLAIN
The customer is not a king here mind you. Sometimes if the servers having a bad mood, they might show it to you. They might angry at you, and you are the customers! So you might complain about that to their superiors right? Good luck with that, usually they don't care.
Or you might complain to anyone you see about what's happening in Yemen, such as traffic, bad services, or all that crappy goods from China the Yemenis consume and we bought and broken down a week later, expect they don't care about it or they just shrugged it of and say "Anta fil Yaman" meaning "You are in Yemen".
Yeah you are in Yemen, take it or leave it we don't care, profit still comes whether you are in or not. That basically it.
Conclusion:
There are still more good traits that I can list of and some annoyances too, but I don't want to make this post too long. In short, the Yemenis are great people! If I was asked how I find the Yemenis, I'll answer that I find them just like what the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him said:
"هُمْ أَضْعفُ قُلُوبًا و أَرَقَ أَفْئِدَةً الإيْمَانُ يَمَان وَ الحِكْمَةُ يَمَنِيَة" "They are most gentle and soft-hearted. Faith is Yemenite, wisdom is Yemenite."
I just hope the war will be over quick, because these people really deserve to be happy.
- Mukalla, Yemen -
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